Coping with Grief During COVID-19
Grieving the loss of a loved one while coping with the fear and anxiety related to the COVID-19 pandemic can be especially overwhelming. As the world continues to fight the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, the lives of so many have been taken, disrupted, or forever changed. Everyone is grieving something or someone during this time.
In the era of social distancing, the inability to gather and mourn with loved ones has left the bereaved perplexed as to how to move forward.
Stay-at home-orders and limits on the size of in-person gatherings have changed the way friends and family can gather and grieve, including holding traditional funeral services, regardless of whether or not the persons death was due to COVID-19.
However, these types of prevention strategies are important to slow the spread of COVID-19.
Both within our funeral home and our larger society, the most basic rituals to honor the deceased and facilitate the grieving process are currently not possible.
Facing Grief
Whether the death was caused by COVID-19 or an unrelated condition, grief is sure to follow for those left behind. Grief is defined as a normal response of sorrow, heartache, or loss that occurs after losing someone or something important to you.
It is not a psychological disorder but does involve several emotional, behavioral, and physical reactions that cause distinct changes such as intense feelings of sadness, emptiness, waves of anger, forgetfulness, slowed thinking, desire to withdraw from others or disengage from usual activity, and questioning the meaning and purpose of life.
While grief feels different for each person, all these reactions are considered normal. Some may find relief in the support of their crew and family; others will prefer to be alone.
Grief during a pandemic is different, the social distancing requirements of COVID-19 have fundamentally changed the ways we grieve. Due to the absence of important traditions that formally honor the deceased, there is a greater risk for complicated grief.
Without the ability to formally say goodbye to a loved one at their bedside or during a funeral or memorial service, those left behind may feel a sense of ambiguous or delayed grief. It can feel as though the person has not really died, despite rationally knowing otherwise. Others may feel angry that they were not able to say goodbye.
How to cope with grief during a pandemic
Grieving is a process, and there is no right way to do it. While the regular rituals or activities that we associate with grieving have been upended this doesnt mean we cannot develop new rituals or ways to pay homage to our loved ones or derive meaning from the loss.
Some actions you can take to help you cope with feelings of grief after the loss of a loved include:
- Connecting with other people: Similar to an online funeral service, video platforms can be used to gather select family and friends to honor the deceased and provide encouragement to each other. Host conference calls to stay connected also, you can coordinate a date and time for family and friends to honor your loved one by sharing stories, a picture or video, reciting a selected poem, spiritual reading, or prayer within their own households.
- Do something to honor the deceased: As a gesture of remembrance of the deceased, cook their favorite meal, watch their favorite movie, and consider telling other family and friends about your action. They will likely provide you encouragement and support.
- Ask for help: Seek out grief counseling or mental health services, support groups, or hotlines, especially those that can be offered over the phone or online.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, the family and close friends of a person who died of COVID-19 may experience stigma, such as social avoidance or rejection. Stigma hurts everyone by creating fear or anger toward other people.
Some people may avoid contacting you, your family members, and friends when they would normally reach out to you. Stigma related to COVID-19 is less likely to occur when people know the facts and share them with extended family, friends, and others in your community.
How can we help you deal with grief during a pandemic?
There are a number of ways to honor your loved one meaningfully during and after this pandemic. Just as our grieving is unique, so too are our memorialization decisions. There is not a one-size-fits-all approach to planning the funeral of a loved one in ordinary times, and there shouldnt be a one-size-fits-all approach to it during this time, either.
Give yourself permission to explore options with our funeral director and make the decision that is best for you and your family.
It might feel overwhelming to select who can attend a private service, especially in a large family. You might be worried that holding a memorial service in the future will feel too late and that your loved ones death will not receive the attention and acknowledgment deserved.
Instead of trying to plan the best service for your loved one, it might be helpful to focus on planning a viewing or service that is the best for right now while choosing ways to honor the life of your loved one in the future, either formally or informally.
Throughout the COVID-19 pandemic, Lee Funeral Home is here to keep you informed and connected to a family that deeply cares for you.